Choose again…

This year is pregnant with possibilities and opportunities.  It is up to you to choose the path that leads to your dreams, goals and desires. 

Think of all the wonderful things that happened in your life.  I know it is easier to think of things that were not so wonderful, but take a few minutes to write down a few of them.  Once you have a list of 15 or more wonderful, successful experiences, then and only then, list 5 things that were less than wonderful. 

What choices are you committed to make differently this year to enjoy more wonderful, successful experiences?

I am responsible for the circumstances in my life.

Be Thankful!



If you want to direct your life in a positive direction, you have to redirect your mind towards abundance and what’s positive by guiding it to focus on what you are grateful for.

While I am grateful for family, food and fun on Thanksgiving, there is so much more to be grateful for.  When you are taking the time to think about things you have to be thankful for, there is less time and energy to focus on the negative stuff that you choose to make your story. 

Change your story.  Make it one of positive thinking, affirmations and actions.  A good place to start is with you.  As I always tell my clients, It’s All About You!  Be grateful for your beauty.  Love your big, small, or thin lips that allow you to share words of love and encouragement.  Love your close-set, too far apart, big or small eyes that allow you to see the world with new eyes.  Love your big, short or fat arms that allow you to give and receive hugs.  The hugs that remind us just how lovable and huggable we really are.  Love those legs, no matter how thin, fat or scarred, that carry you through the doors of opportunities and advancement.

Acknowledge the beauty of your compassion, your loving heart, your giving and receiving spirit, and the gifts you bring to the world.  We look into the eyes of our loved ones to declare our love.  Look in the mirror and declare your love and gratefulness for all you are and all you do!

 Happy Thanksgiving!!

Self-Knowledge

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  The perfection of Universal timing has compelled the introduction and launch of the I am a DOVe, Daughter of the Village, program. 

The intention of this program is to help young women grow into their Greatness, one new thought at a time.   Where do we start?  We start with Self-Knowledge, which is an understanding of yourself and your goals. 

When you understand who you are, you understand what you will and will not tolerate.  You understand that when something does not feel good to you or make you feel good about yourself, it is time to let it go.  As a very young woman, I dated a guy who was verbally abusive.  Since I knew him better than I knew myself, I was usually able to walk around his tender spots.  I did not think anything wrong with the way he spoke to me.  I dated this guy for a few years and am not sure when the change began only that I had gotten used to it. 

One day my girlfriend came to visit and the three of us went to hangout at the beach.  We had been there for a few hours when I evidently missed a queue while chatting with my girlfriend.  Since I spent most of my free time with him and again knew him so well I knew the signals that indicated attitude change.  My girlfriend, whom I love dearly for her courage, looked him in they eye and said, “I don’t know what your problem is, but you will not speak to my girlfriend that way.” 

In that instant, I saw what she saw.  I saw that he was mean, sometimes for no reason.  I saw that I had been making excuses for his attitude and his tone with me.  I saw that I had been making excuses for him.  I had been telling him, without saying anything, that his behavior was okay with me.  I saw that I knew him better than I knew myself and that my girlfriend loved me more that I loved myself.

Even though there was no physical damage, there was emotional abuse.  His words made me feel uncomfortable.  Since I did not know who I was, I did not know that I could choose not to tolerate his verbal tyrants.  I was so focused on him that I knew him and loved him better than I knew and loved me. 

That day at the beach was the beginning of my journey of self-knowledge and the beginning of the end of that relationship.  Choose your friends wisely.  Real friends want you to feel good.  They want you to be happy.  If the only way they feel good is by making you feel bad, they are not your friends. 

If you are the person that is verbally abusive to your friends, stop it.  Think about how you feel when someone is verbally abusive to you.  Generally speaking, abusers were once abused.  Do not perpetuate this sadness.  If you did not like it, someone else will like it less. 

Our first and last love…is self-love!  Be good to yourself. 

Feedback and comments welcomed and appreciated.

A Day of Discovery

I started this blog with good intentions of writing daily only to re-member that neither writing nor regiments have ever been favorite things on my To Do List.  The reason for starting this blog and more importantly this program is to help our daughters, no matter her age, accept, acknowledge and embrace the truth that she is.  The truth of who she is now is not necessarily the “who” she wants to be in 5 years, 5 months or even 5 minutes. 

Focus on the “who” that is your highest self.  Not sure how to find her?  Think about your passions and what brings joy to you soul. In the words of Frankie Beverly in the song Happy Feelins’, (when you) feel those happy feelings and you spread them all over the world.  In other words, when you are happy the world around you is happy.

 When you accept the beauty of you, warts and all, you are not searching for acceptance from others.  The may not be in the mood or state of mind to provide the acceptance you need in the way you need it.  Affirm what you know to be true, You are beautiful!     

When you acknowledge all things that make you uniquely and Divinely you, you acknowledge the Greatness of Spirit.  Trust your inner guidance and remain true to you.

When you embrace life for all it is, you have re-membered what it is like to be a child.  A child is totally fascinated with life.  They willingly and easily connect with all people and animals with love, and the promise of adventure and discovery.

Make every day a new day of discovery!!

Law of the Garbage Truck

I am not sure where I got this, but it is a great way to think about our encounters.  I usually say, they have something going on that has nothing to do with me.

It Is All About You!  Make it an awesome day!!

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.  We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.  My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.  And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’  This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’  He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.   As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.

Don’t take it personally.  Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or
on the streets.  The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage
trucks take over their day.

Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so …Love the
people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety
percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free day and a garbage-free life!

Right now continued

Right now, any anxiety you may have about the future is only an illusion.

Let it go.

Let it fade away as the beauty and perfection of right now wash over you

The best thing you can do for the future

Is to live with everything you have in the present.

Right now, you are in a position to create real and lasting positive value,

For the world in which you live.  How do you do that?

By following your heart.  Be being the you that is really you.

You may have wandered away from yourself,

Now is the time to come home.

You know in your heart that you are here for a reason

The pain you feel is that purpose, that reason for living,

As it constantly aches to break free.

When it does, you’ll be more alive than you ever could have imagined.

Breath in the beauty around you, the beauty and richness of being alive.

It is your gift

It is your fortune

It is your blessing

It is yours to live to experience to fulfill.

Right now.

Right Now

Hello my Sisters,

I found this poem a few years ago and do not remember the author.  I thought it perfect to share and will post the remainder next time.

Sometimes stopping is the best thing we can do.

Right Now

Stop for a moment and calm your thoughts

Let go of your anxieties and look around you.

What do you see?

You see a life filled with possibilities.

You see dreams being born, being nurtured and being fulfilled.

Yes, there are challenges.  Yes, there is sorrow.

And more than these, there is love, there is goodness, there is joy

The future is uncertain and that means there’s no limit as to how

Beautiful and Joyful you can make it.

What you have is right now and right now is completely as it should be

It is your time to live.  Think of what a precious thing your life is

And how truly blessed you are to be experiencing it.

Right Now

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The Answer Is You

When I am preparing to write to you, the intention is to covey the message of self-importance. Not in a narcissistic way, just a healthy dose of self-love and self-importance.  We learn to love others by first loving ourselves.  We learn to appreciate others by first appreciating ourselves. 

This morning, I opened a book to the right page with the right message.  The title is, The Answer Is You.  How profound!  It is not much different from my favorite statement, It’s All About You!  After reading the passage, I knew this was the perfect message to share with you today. 

It tells a story of how a group of gods got together and decided to play a game.  The object of the game was to find the perfect hiding place for the secret of life.  One god suggested hiding it on the highest mountain and another replied people will climb Mount Everest so they will find it.  Another suggested hiding it at the bottom of the sea when a different god said no they would only build submarines.  Finally one of the gods suggested hiding it someplace where no one would think to look, inside each person.

How much money, time and energy has been spent looking outside of ourselves for the answer?  Not only for the secret of life; how about love, peace, harmony and beauty to name a few.  Everything that you need to be the best you possible is already inside of you.  I know this just as surely as I know that everything I need to be the best me is right inside me.  We look to outside solutions for internal challenges.  The answer is you.  We ask ourselves why these people come into our lives, when we should be asking why do I allow these people into my life.  We ask why do they treat me this way, rather than asking why we allow them to treat us in any way that does not reflect the beauty of who we are.

Own the responsibility for designing your life.  When you become the source of your experiences rather than the victim of your circumstances, you are empowered.

The Answer Is You!

Taking Care of our Daughters

I am a DOVe, Daughter of the Village.  We are all daughters of the village.  As daughters we are innocence, gentleness, tenderness and peace.  We continually learn who we are while striving to be our authentic selves.  We must take our time and learn everything we can about us.  Then and only then, will we know what is really important to us.  It is never to late to learn more about you or how to take better care of you.  Do it for your daughters; the daughter within you, the biological daughter, adopted daughter or any other daughter in your village.

I found a book a few months ago and the title caught my attention, Educating Our Daughters.  Lynn White, Jr who at the time was President of Mills College in Oakland California wrote this book in 1949.  Imagine that, a man who understood the importance of educating our daughters differently than we educate our sons.

A young mother wrote Mr. White a letter stating, “I have come to realize that I was educated to be a successful man and now must learn by myself how to be a successful woman.”  It is time we teach our young women how to be successful in their own way, time and space.  Teach them how to be successful daughters and in turn successful women.  How many of us have used the phrase, “If I knew then what I know now…” It is time that our daughters and our sisters learn ‘it’ now.  The ‘it’ is whatever they want it to be.

Allow our daughters to be daughters.  Allow them to grow into their own greatness.  I remember reading a passage quite a few years ago about hormonal changes of teenage girls.  I was looking for answers on helping my angel, most of the times anyway, be the best she could be.  It talked about parents who expect their daughters to be little girls when at home and big girls when they are away from home.  Our daughters become confused because we give them different messages at different times.  They sometimes forget when they should be the little girls versus the big girls.

Some of us may say that we had to grow up.  There was no time to be a little girl.  Does this mean that our daughters must repeat the cycle?  Most mothers want more for their kids, physically and emotionally, than they had.  Imagine how different your life would be if as a young woman you took the time to learn all about you and what was important to you.

Will you commit to building positive self-esteem and inspiring your daughters to reach their full potential?  I will!

Love, Honor & Respect You

You are uniquely and divinely you.  You are Divinely unique.  You are perfect just as you are.  You are not broken.  You are perfectly awesome, just as you are.

Love, honor and respect you in, because of and in spite of your differences.  No one can be you better than you.  You have gifts to share with the world and those gifts are not the same gifts that your sister has to share.  She has her own gifts.  Appreciate your gifts and share them with love, honor and respect. 

When I go out, I put my best face on.  I take the time to ensure that my clothes look good and that they look good on me, based on my own thoughts and feelings.  People may say that I look good or they like my outfit.  They won’t know if I bought the outfit at Macy’s or a Thrift Store or that I wore the same outfit for the past three days.  They only see me now.  I accept the compliment graciously with a thank you never telling my story.  We all have them.  There is an old Negro spiritual that says, “no one knows the trouble I’ve seen…” and they won’t know unless you tell them.  I choose not to tell.  I choose to let those “troubles” stay in the past and remember the joys of my life.  I choose to love, honor & respect me for where I am and for the roads I have travelled to get here.

I now know that whatever I do is exactly what I need to do in order to learn what I need to know.  As you learn, you become better at what you do. When you know better you will do better and when you do better you will know you have grown.

In the meantime, just be you; perfect, divine, uniquely you!

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